This is lateroundsleepers 1st ever article written by someone other than the brothers Lewis. Writing and editing credit to Billy Vitale.
First and foremost, big shout out and thank you to our commissioner for the weekly write-ups. I think I speak for all of us when I say reading the write-ups is one of the highlights of our week.
This week’s write-up will start with a little rap I wrote
and it goes a lilts something like this…
KICK IT!!!!!!!
Nick Dogg, you are so bad at fantasy, why you gotta be such a hater???
you see this league is like the 92 dream team, and you cuh...you're just Christian Laettner
I'm gonna steal a page from Zeke's book; you see a few years back he compared every member of this league to an NFL team. I thought it was creative and fun so I'm gonna give it a shot with a twist. Instead of comparing us to an NFL team, i will compare with the 92 dream team
Kevin / Charles Barkley
It’s this writer’s opinion that Barkley is the greatest NBA player to not win a ring. It’s also this writer’s opinion that Kevin is the best player in our league to be Artestless
Bryan / Magic Johnson
(in robot) I personally witnessed how hard you partied in college. And it's still an absolute shock that you didn't get that HIV
Jeremy / Larry Bird
Both wear that #33, both are champions. Both look like country fed white boys that couldn't hurt a fly, but once you piss them off… fugedabatit!!!
Ed / Patrick Ewing
People don't know this but Ewing was born is Kingston Jamaica, right near the beach boyyyyy. So i think we all know what you 2 have in common… I'm talking about weed of course
Half Baked - Fuck You!
Gino / Michael Jordan
MJ = 5 MVPs… Gino = 5 Artest, simple as that. Until one of us gets a 2nd Artest, we're all just cartoon characters in space jam, except me, I get to be Bill Murray
Bill Murray - I don't play defense (Space Jam)
Daniel S / Chris Mullin
Just like Daniel, Mullin grew up a fat kid who got in great shape and ran marathons… Actually none of that is true. But, out of all of us, you did grow up in a city that is closest to the Bay area… HANCOCK!!!
Lizard / Karl Malone
Both fine players. But we have to remember that Karl played alongside the greatest assist man of all time. So one has to wonder how good Karl would have been without his significant other
Danny L / Scottie Pippen
You can never talk about Scottie without bringing up MJ. It's similar to Danny and Gino. Danny, like Pippen, has proven to be great player without the assistance of his big bro (just look at last weeks score). But until Danny wins an Artest, He will remain in the shadow
Billy / Clyde Drexler
Both not the best or the worst of the bunch, but just like Clyde I always find a way to glide myself into to the playoffs
Steve / John Stockton
Both prove that great things come in small packages. Both have hearts of lions. Steve has the most points scored on him but sits in a solid 5th spot in the league
Zeke / David Robinson
i think this one is the most obvious… GO NAVY!!! Thanks for the service brother, you make us all proud
Hulk Hogan I am a Real American Lyrics
Nick Dogg / Christian Laettner
Oh Nick Dogg, you are the apple in this leagues eye, you complete us. look at the standing, six teams at 3 -3, four teams at 4-2 or vice versa, and 2 teams at 5 -1 or vice versa. Without you we are just plain lopsided, so thank you (pretty sure the rest of the dream team told Laettner similar things)
700 pound man eating a jar of mayo has a heart attack
What a week in fantasy football with 9 teams reaching at least 90 points.
As foretold, the game of the week jinx struck with furious anger. 77-75, what a joke. Going into the Monday night game Nucks only needed 6 points from Gore to take the victory. Piece of cake right? Well not really… in away games this season gore is averaging 3.5 points a game
What turned out to be the game of the week was 33 cent vs Spartans. Only a man on his honeymoon would have enough confidence to say "all up in that ass Zeke" when he's only up by 24 points and he knows he has a Monday night date with Kaepernick. Great win Zeke
Goodness vs AC was a battle of who trusted 49ers WR more. But as it turns out, even if Goodness starts Crabtree, he still looses the game with zero options on the bench
And then there is the battle of the brothers. This game is like a rivalry game between 2 teams that are not one of your favorites... I don't give a shit who wins but its fun to watch. Ducks with the near perfect starting roster. The only points lost was starting Lacy over Bradshaw. But after a 27 point game from Lacy last week it would be hard to sit him. Even if the Empire could start their entire bench he still would not have caught up to 145
Lepper had the pick up of the week with Sanu but when Flaco throws for 5 TD's in the first quarter, things aren't looking to good. Broncos had the perfect starting roster and that’s with a 40 point killer Cam game on the bench, incredible!!!
So that wraps up all the games this week, oh wait… there's one more…
oh nick dogg, if Ray Rice's wife and Adrian Peterson's son had a child it would be you. Your bench had more points than your line up, AND YOUR BENCH HAD A BYE GAME HAHAHAHAHHA… That means you should have set your lineup and then told yourself "okay, now i'm gonna do the complete opposite".
If I had to describe next weeks games in 2 words, those 2 words would be...
1. Swift
2. Brave
We have 6 teams with 3-3 records. Only 2 of them will be playing each other this week. After this week is completed we will either start seeing the separation of who will or will not make playoffs or everybody will be tied and a whole new season will start
BTG VS 33
Looks like I beat you in the battle of the Buffalo Bills RBs, After 6 weeks you have to sit C.J. when Fred Jackson is looking like one of the best flex spot fill-ins in the league. If Reggie Wayne is able to steal back some Luck points, I might have a chance. I have a feeling this will be a close game!
The Empire vs AC Slater
Bye week bug has bitten Gino this week with McCoy, especially considering the week he just had and Sproles being injured. I think AC will need more than a bug bite to win this game, the empires losing streak ends at 2
Compton vs Ducks
Just when we think it can’t get any worse for Nick Dogg, Cruz gets injured and is out for the season. Probably wouldn’t have mattered considering the ducks have scored 279 points in the last 2 weeks. Ducks take this one with another convincing win
Broncos vs Goodness
With Bryan also bitten by the bug, coupled with a week bench, it’s gonna be tough for him to win. Looks like Killer is back in the starting lineup along with 4 WR and just 1 RB. With the Rams having a stingy run D (which will make Lynch have a less than par game) and Crabtree finally breaking out of his shell, I have Folsom winning this by upset. This obviously means that all teams will have at least 2 losses and my 11-1 season record holds strong. Time to pop the Champaign like the 72 Dolphins!
Spartans vs Lepper
Lepper sitting Stafford??? Never thought I would see the day but I can’t blame Kurt with Stafford’s best target, megatron, out with injury. With all the weapons Zeke has (and having McFadden on the bench who has emerged as Raiders top RB over MJD), I have the Spartans starting next week with a 4-3 record
Nuck vs NWP (game of the week)
Sorry Nucks for giving you GOW 2 weeks in a row. But with a “must win game” for the 2 of you, similar projections and the fact that I truly have no prediction who will win… I had no choice. Usually the pros predict Manning 1 and Wilson somewhere around 8. This week they have them at 3 and 5. Too close to call
I know I know, long ass write up. I don’t get to do them too often so when I get the chance I make the best of it. I want to conclude with how I won my game last week
With Brees on a bye week, I had Locker as my starter which Nick Dogg was aware of. Around 1am on Sunday I checked out my roster just in case I slept in on Sunday. I saw that Locker was out so after carefully reviewing my options, I decided to go between Bridgewater or Whitehurst, I finally decided on Bridgewater.
The next morning before the games, Nick being the good friend he is, called me to let me know that Locker was out. I thanked him and told him who I was considering and who I went with. He said “yea, don’t go with Whitehurst, he’s garbage”
I hung up the phone and thought to myself, did Nick just expose Whitehurst? I believe he did!!! So of course I made the last second change to Whitehurst who scored 11. Bridgewater only 5. I ended up winning by 2
Please see league activity below for story accuracy
